greetings!

one more laugh

Hi everybody! It is holiday tomorrow here in the gulf because it is Prophet Mohammed's birthday. Hubby will not be working for three days so that means more family time hehe. Anyway, before i doze off, here is another e-mail shared to me by hubby. Enjoy everyone and have a good laugh!

Sign over a
Gynecologist' s Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your
cervix.'

************ ********* ****

In a
Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all
heels.'

************ ********* *****

On a Septic Tank
Truck in Oregon:

'Yesterday's Meals on
Wheels'

************ ********* *****

On another
Septic Tank Truck:

'We're #1 in the #2 business'

************ ********* *****

At a
Proctologist' s door:

'To expedite your visit
please back in.'

************ ********* *****

On a Plumber's
truck:

'We repair what your husband
fixed.'

************ ********* *****

On another
Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip.
Call your plumber..'

************ ********* *****

On a Church's
Billboard:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

************ ********* *****

At a Tire Shop
in Milwaukee:

'Invite us to your next
blowout.'

************ ********* *****

On a Plastic
Surgeon's Office door:

'Hello. Can we pick your
nose?'

************ ********* *****

At a Towing
company:

'We don't charge an arm and
a leg. We want tows.'

************ ********* *****

On an
Electrician' s truck:

'Let us remove
your shorts.'

************ ********* *****

In a Nonsmoking
Area:

'If we see smoke, we will
assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

************ ********* *****

On a Maternity
Room door:

'Push. Push. Push.'

************ ********* *****

At an
Optometrist' s Office

'If you don't see what
you're looking for,
you've come to the right place.'

************ ********* *****

On a
Taxidermist' s window:

'We really know our
stuff.'

************ ********* *****

On a
Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food
is expensive!'

************ ********* *****

At a Car
Dealership:

'The best way to get back on
your feet - miss a car payment.'

************ ********* *****

Outside a
Muffler Shop:

'No appointment necessary.
We hear you coming.'

************ ********* *****

In a
Veterinarian' s waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!'

************ ********* *****

At the Electric
Company:

'We would be delighted if
you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.'

************ ********* *****

In a Restaurant
window:

'Don't stand there and be
hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'

************ ********* *****

In the front
yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll
wait.'

************ ********* *****

At a Propane
Filling Station

'Thank heaven for little
grills.'

************ ********* *****

And
don't forget the sign at
a

Chicago Radiator
Shop:

'Best place in town to take
a leak.'

have a good laugh!!

I received this e-mail from hubby and i want to share it with everybody. Read on and have a good laugh!!

How Consultants Make a Difference

For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for faster service, this short story is a timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference to an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed alittle strange. When another waiter brought our water I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.Then, I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked,"Why the spoon?"

"Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back tothe kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he wasable to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter,

"Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?""Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That Consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 percent".

I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.

Emo Qs from Bianca

I snagged this from friendster bulletin. I'm sleepy now but I am waiting for Andre's last feeding. This should keep my eyes from drooping hihi.

All About Moi

1. Why did you stop liking the last
person you liked?
- I haven't stopped liking him.

2. Are you usually the heart breaker
or the heart broken?
- Both.

3. What was the last thing you put in
your mouth?
- I popped in my calci-aide.

4. Name a quote from the song you are
listening to:?
- "There's got to be something for my soul somewhere"

5. How is life going for you right now?
- I'm drowning

6. Are you keeping a secret from
someone who needs to know the truth?
- Yes.

7. Who was the last person to comment
you?..
- Jan

8. Regret(s)?
- Yeah. I just don't know exactly which one is the greatest.

10. What was the first thing you said
when you woke up today?
- "Good morning, baby."

11. Do you have a best friend?
- Yes.

12. Have you ever hated someone, but
ended up being friends with them?
- Yes.

14. Do you own a pair of green pants?
- Yes.

15. Any crush?
- Yes.

16. Do you believe that what comes
around goes around?
- Yes

17. What is your favorite fruit?
- anything juicy and anything crunchy

18. What is the last song to make you
cry?
- Rainbow Connection hahaha

19. Is your best friend pretty?
- Yes.

20. Have you ever passed out?
- Yes. back in college. I was burn out from schoolwork

21. Do you trust people easily?
- No.

22. When was the last time you puked?
- First tri-sem of my pregnancy

23. What's the thing that always gets
you through the day?
- My prince Andre's smiles and coos, oohs and aahs

24. Who/what do you miss?
- I miss that blissfull love. So much.

25. Do you give out second chances too
easily?
- Nope. When in doubt, don't.

26. What are you doing this coming
summer?
- Hit the beach!!! take gazillion photos of Andre

27. Where is one place you want to
visit?
- I want to go to Moscow.

28. Do you like hugs or do you freak
when people hug you?
- I like hugs.

29. Had plans and broke them?
- YES.

30. Do you eat steak?
- Yes.

31. How are you feeling?
- Cold inside. This is going to be a long, long war inside me.

32. Are you a lover or hater?
- A lover. A good lover.

33. What was the last movie you
watched?
- bits and pieces of I am Legend

34. What comes into mind when I say,
Firenzeee the chimpanzee is on fire?
- who is that?

35.What are you listening to right now?
- Home by Michael Buble

environmentalists hit a speed hump

They may be popular with residents wanting to prevent speeding on their streets, but research has shown that speed humps can be harmful to the environment.

The traffic calming measure, widely used in residential areas can increase fuel consumption by 47 percent on 50km/h roads, a study has found.

The study, carried out by an independent engineer and car tester in the UK, found out that the average car achieves 58.15mpg at a steady speed of 50km/h. But when going over humps, it will reach only 30.85mpg. The results were calculated by averaging the results of two cars.

It also found that cutting the speed limit from 40km/h to 25 km/h pumps up CO2 emissions by 10 percent.